


forevermore | a lucy & tim story

by leiaswan



Category: The Rookie (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chenford Fic, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Police, Tim/Lucy, Tucy, chenford
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:22:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28760991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiaswan/pseuds/leiaswan
Summary: Officer Tim Bradford and his rookie Lucy Chen didn't expect when they volunteered for an undercover assignment, that it not only would involve danger, but also romance.
Relationships: Tim Bradford & Lucy Chen, Tim Bradford/Lucy Chen
Comments: 20
Kudos: 177





	1. the assignment

**Author's Note:**

> short summary: It's not long until Lucy Chen finishes her rookie season and Tim Bradford spends his final days as her TO. After a busy day and a careless moment, there's nothing left to save Lucy except a few positive points. Tim and Lucy decide to take on the famous Simmen-Case to get Lucy back in the race to perfection her rookie status. Find Jack and Lara Simmen, gain their trust, convince them and arrest them. 
> 
> If it weren't for the old motel with only a single room left and Lara Simmen's obsession with making Lucy and Tim their perfect pair of accomplices.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time.” Tim knows it inside out, without thinking and without stuttering. His ex-wife, Isabel, once teased him years ago when he misspoke and since then he doesn't allow himself this mistake anymore. He glances at Lucy, who is listening intently and is taking a step backward, her gun hand still on her hip.

It is a matter of course that his rookie always gives the best possible at one hundred percent. And if his rookie can't give that, it’s not worth it. So, if it means repeating that sentence a thousand times until it's burned into her brain, so be it. She seems to be off track today. Never before has she hesitated, never before has he had to intervene so close to a dilemma. Not with his boot.

"You hesitated earlier when we arrested him. You can't hesitate.” He slams the car door, a little harder than usual.

"Sorry, my mind was elsewhere. It won't happen again,” she answered. He squints his eyes and examines her. Maybe he was too hard on her. It hasn't been that long since the whole thing with Caleb happened. Maybe he needs to take a step back and let this one slide.

"Listen, boot. I know the last few weeks haven't been..."

She interrupts him. “No. I don’t want to be treated differently. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have hesitated. He almost got away if you hadn't intervened. I blew the Miranda warning. I really can't make any more mistakes than I just did. Don’t go soft on me now, Tim, please.”

He raises an eyebrow. She is as feisty as ever. "Suit yourself. I want 50 pushups when we get back and no breaks. Grey seems to have something else to announce. It sounded like a special order this morning. You could use a few points after that stunt you just pulled. If you don’t want me to go soft on you, which I don’t by the way, you best volunteer and get back on track, unless it is some stupid volunteering at a retirement home or something. There’s not much time left of your training."

"A special assignment?"

"How should I know?"

"I don't know, I thought you might just..."

"Get in the car, boot."

During the ride back to the station, neither says a word. Tim stares focused at the road while Lucy looks around the neighborhood, lost in thought. Suddenly his foot hits the brake and Lucy shoots forward. Her seat belt holds her back and presses her upper body back into the seat.

“Where are we, boot?”

“What?”

“I taught you to focus. Now, where are we? I’m bleeding, you only have seconds left to call 911.. Where. Are. We?”

“I… Tim… I don’t.. You don’t have to do this again...”

“And I’m dead. Focus, Chen. If you can’t do your job, then I don’t want you in this car. Understand?” This is what she wants, right? She doesn't want to be handled with silk gloves.

“I understand, Sir.” She lowers her head.

“Hey, look at me…” He reaches out for her but hesitates before touching her shoulder. This is inappropriate, he thinks. She shakes her head and bites her lip.

“I don’t know what is happening, Tim. This is not me. I know this neighborhood; I should know how to answer your questions.”

“Listen. I don’t want to get you in trouble. But I also can’t just let it slide every time. If Grey asks me about it, I have to tell him.” It bothers him to see her like that. She is usually the tough one. He knows, of course, that she can do what he asks of her. But how else can he help her if he does not confront her. ”Maybe the assignment is exactly what you need. You just need to get your mind off things and concentrate on one thing and one thing alone. I’ll talk to Grey. We’ll do this and you’ll be back to being the annoying rookie in no time,” he grins, and she smiles out the window. It's a little more bearable to have her sit next to him when she's smiling.

* * *

"Jack Simmen. He and his wife Lara have been on the run for four years. We have witnesses who spotted them at the Motel De Neige outside the city this morning. Tabloids also call them modern LA's Bonnie and Clyde. It's impossible to tell what they're up to next and what the next plan will be. I want you to find them to stop another robbery. This is your chance to prove yourself, Officer Chen. I expect absolute discretion and perfection. Simmen was once an officer himself within the LAPD. He knows our moves and our methods. You must gain their trust, convince them, and then convict them. Can you do that, Officer Bradford?” Wade Grey glances between the two.

“You expect us to go undercover? With all due respect sir, I don't think Officer Chen..."

“We will not disappoint you,” Lucy interrupts Tim and nods respectfully towards Grey. Tim takes a sharp breath.

“Sir, you expect us to take in two of the most wanted felons, unarmed and unprotected, without back up?”

“As I asked, Officer Bradford. If you think you are not up for the task, I will let another TO and his rookie in on the case. I trust you to be one of my best officers and I am sure you are more than capable of taking care of this. Backup will be around 24/7 to assist.”

“Thank you, Sir. We will do as you ask.”

They nod at each other and Grey leaves, patting Tim on his shoulder on his way out. Lucy leans against the wall and smirks.

“What are you laughing at, boot?”

“I can't believe he just trusts us with this.”

“He trusts _me_ with this. You’re just my bring-along,” he smiles and Before she can counter, his expression stiffens. “We can't let that go wrong, Chen. If your head is not 100% in the game, we are going to be in serious danger. You can't afford any mistakes; do you understand? I won’t be able to protect you.” He looks her straight in the face. She doesn’t appear to be intimidated by it. On the contrary, he sees a certainty in her eyes that he hasn't seen in a long time.

“I need this to work just as much as you do. I won’t mess this up.”

He believes her.

“Great. Then clean up here and go home. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning and we'll go there together. And don't put on your uniform. Undercover, got it?”

“Got it.” She smiles.

* * *

As the water flows over her shoulder, past her breasts and down her hips, Lucy watches the foundation over Caleb's tattoo slowly smudge. DOD12919. DOD12919. DOD12919. Even though it will one day disappear from her body entirely, it will be forever etched in her memory. DOD12919. DOD12919 DOD12919.

It wasn't easy for her to be so confident in front of Grey today. She saw it on Tim's face that he was just as surprised by her as she was by herself. Especially after that crappy day on patrol. The undercover assignment is her last chance to prove herself. Tim will definitely rat her out otherwise. He has already defended her enough in her time as his rookie. Head in the game, 100%, just like he said.

Lucy gets out of the shower and wraps the bath towel around her chest. She slips on her bathrobe and prances with wet feet into the living room next to Jackson, who has just put the pizza box on his lap.

“Long day?” he asks and takes a bite.

“I don't even know where to start, maybe I better leave it. Tim and I are going undercover, though. The Simmen case.”

“Ah, I heard about that. You and Bradford alone?”

“We need to go to a motel for a few days and gain their trust, find out about their plans and stuff. No idea how we do that.”

“Sounds cozy and like y’all are going to die,” Jackson laughs and wipes off crumbs of pizza-crust off his lips.

“That’s comforting to hear, Jackson, thanks.”

“I’m sure you’ll do it. You always did. You and Bradford are a good together.”

For a brief moment, at Jackson's last words, Lucy's heart beats faster. He is right. This job will only work if the two work together. Tim is an excellent TO, and even if she doesn't like to admit it to herself - there is no one she would rather go and be stranded in an old motel outside of the city with, than him.

* * *

_Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper I love you, birds singing in the sycamore tree…_

She can't breathe. Her throat is tight, the sting of the freshly tattooed wound on her hip burns and her palm throbs with pain. She hit the container too hard. She tried too hard to fight back. She could have saved herself so much strength.

_Dream a little dream of me…_

Lucy cries out. Maybe it was a silent scream, a shriek in her dream, but when she opens her eyes she is lying in her bed. Her heart is pounding, and her temple is throbbing. The blood in her veins is frozen and she has goose bumps. It was just a nightmare. She is at home, she is safe.

_That’s a lie, it is not safe. Nowhere._

She is at home, she is safe.

Once again it was a sleepless night. She stopped counting the minutes and seconds, it makes no sense anyway.

The thought that she will have to spend the next few nights alone in a motel room doesn’t soothe her. Sure, Tim will be just a few walls away, but there's no place she feels safer than at home or in her car. And she can't for the life of her just go out into the parking lot to sleep in her car, can she? So much for undercover. She has to go through it. Head in the game and no distractions.


	2. fiancé and fiancée

“You look terrible,” Tim says and gets back in his car. It was only a short night for Lucy, barely asleep and the alarm clock jolted her back on her feet again the second she finally closed her eyes. “You're not getting cold feet, are you, boot?”

He would certainly like that, she thinks to herself, to see her fail. “I know what you are doing. But you can't scare me. I was born for this,” she counters. Maybe she's overdoing it a little. Tim seems to notice and grins silently. _Just you wait._ The ride in his truck takes a while. Lucy didn't know that he owns an old jalopy in addition to his shop, but then again, she hardly knows anything about his private life except who he goes out with from time to time. She wonders if it's a good idea to ask him about Rachel now. Probably not, not before he has had his first coffee anyway.

“I talked to Lopez this morning. West and Nolan are a few points ahead of you. That would make it the first time my rookie didn't make the best list.” _What a conversation-starter_ , Lucy thinks.

“God forbid Officer Tim Bradford can't always be the defending champion,” she mutters under her breath so he can barely hear what she said.

Tim reaches for his walky talky. “7-Adam-19, Officer Tim Bradford. Heading towards Motel de Neige outside LAPD area. Officer Lucy Chen and I will sign off for Simmen-Case and go undercover. Bugs are in place and installed. We will report after official duty hours.”

The voice from the radio is barely audible and out of range. It rustles and the thick branches of the forest growing around the area do not make it easier.

“Officer Bradford, this is Sergeant Grey. Are all duty-related items out of reach? Do not, under and circumstances, enter the Motel with your guns or ammo. Jack and Lara Simmen are dangerous. Under no circumstances should they realize that the LAPD has anything to do with this.” Tim frowns and concentrates on not overhearing a word Grey says.

“Sir, the connection is horrible. I will get back to you. Uniform's off, any weapons are hidden in my truck,” he responds.

Nothing can be heard except the eerie silence of the forest. Even when the truck's engine is off, one might hear a pin drop onto the asphalt. The two of them are all alone, nothing but a few isolated cars in the parking lot and the buzzing sound the flickering neon sign makes. Motel de Neige.

"The last time I had to act was in high school. We did Titanic and guess who I was."

"Rose?", Tim guesses.

"Almost! I played the guy who jumps off the railing just before sinking and hits the propeller. That was funny. I mean when I got to jump off the platform on stage.... Not the scene in the movie... you know what I..." _Stop talking nonsense_ , Lucy thinks to herself. He probably thinks she’s an absolute lunatic by now. But he doesn't listen to her; he's too busy trying to find the entrance to the motel. He seems visibly uneasy about being out of uniform. Lucy paws after her TO when he pauses abruptly and turns to face her. He bends down slightly and whispers.

“Do as I say and follow my instructions. Don’t you even dare going rogue; you hear me?” His warm breath tickles her cheek. He’s trying to intimidate her, as always.

“I will not go rogue, Sir.”

Tim opens the rusty front door and leans against the reception desk. The young woman, hardly older than Lucy, smiles kindly. "What brings you gorgeous folks here? You need a room?"

"Two single rooms please, three days at least. We don't know yet how long we’ll stay."

“Oh, I see,” the girl winks, “after all, you're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding. I'm sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart, but I only have one room left. The others are being renovated.”

Tim bites his lip and squints his eyes. _You've got to be kidding me_ , he thinks. Lucy reaches in and leans closer to her. “He snores very loudly. Can you really not make accommodations for us?”

Tim snorts and gently pushes Lucy aside. “We’ll take what you can give us,” he interjects and gives Lucy a fake smile.

“Alright, love birds. Room 8 on the first floor. Let me know if you need anything.” Lucy grabs the keys and thanks her.

“Are there any other guests staying in this motel right now? I’m simply curious… we don’t want to wake them at night, if you know what I mean…,” Tim seems to be in a flirting mood and the reception girl has taken the bait. No wonder, he's a natural, Lucy thinks.

“There's another young couple on their honeymoon on the second floor. You don't have to worry about the noise. They're not super quiet themselves,” she chuckles. Tim glances at Lucy and without any words she knows what he’s thinking about. They _must_ be Lara and Jack.

“Thanks…” he’s looking for her name tag.

“Abigail,” she blushes.

“Thank you, Abigail.”

* * *

Before Lucy has even managed to open the bedroom door, they are met by an unbearable stench. It smells of moldy old wood and unwashed draperies. The room, if not every room in this motel, must have been empty for a long time.

“Oh god, we're going to get STDs,” she gags and turns the key. The smell intensifies, scorched and without any ventilation. It’s definitely shabby and not worth the money. A run-down clothes rail hangs in the narrow entry and around the corner is a worn-out armchair that so many asses have sat on that it no longer looks inviting. Opposite is the bed. It is a single bed, definitely not a king-size, let alone queen. The thought of spending the night with Tim on this tiny bed makes her feel queasy. What if she has another nightmare? Tim is going to think she’s insane or not ready for this assignment.

“You can have the bed, I'll take the chair,” Tim slips past her and throws his bag on the floor. He looks around briefly, casts a glance out the window, then draws the curtains and drops onto the old armchair where he will sleep for the next few days. He falls low and the squeak of the spring startles him. “Maybe I’ll take the floor instead.”

She laughs and sits down on the edge of the bed. Nervously, she nibbles on her lower lip. “And what do we do now?” Lucy asks him.

“We need to get to know each other.”

“What?”

“Do you think we can be convincing if we don't know anything about each other? Abigail thinks we are going to get married soon. Maybe it's not a bad idea to keep up this lie. People will never buy that two .... _friends_ stay in a hotel together for several days.”

He may well be right. Lucy shrugs her shoulders. "There's nothing you don't already know."

“Bullshit, boot. I know nothing about you except your terrible taste in men,” he adds.

“Excuse you! I am going to marry _you,_ aren’t I _?_ ”

“Touché. You got me there”, he gets up and sits next to her. Their thighs touch briefly and Tim flinches, sliding a few inches away from her.

“You just said we’re friends. You never said that before.”

“I just made an example. We are not friends. I am your TO and nothing else.” He turns away from her, but she nudges his shoulder with hers.

“Yes, we are, don’t try to deny it. Even though you really bust my balls sometimes and think you can intimidate me with your know-it-all attitude, we are friends. That's a start, isn't it?” Tim cackles at her comment and nods in agreement.

For a moment Lucy is thinking, then she starts. “I am lactose intolerant.”

“Important, good start,” Tim answers and smiles gently. It's a warming smile, she’s never seen before from him. Lucy blushes. “I don’t snore, by the way,” he interrupts.

“You better not, otherwise you’ll sleep outside.” They both laugh and glance at one another. “I want to thank you, for doing this assignment for me... with me, I mean. I know it takes up a lot of your free time as well,” Lucy adds.

“I’m not doing this for you, Chen. How do you think I will look if my rookie fails her probation?” There he is again, the old Officer Bradford. For just a split second, Lucy was sure she'd cracked him and spotted a glimpse of his soft side. She nods and lowers her gaze to the floor. “We still have plenty of time to talk. Get changed and activate your bug. We have a job to do,” he jumps up and turns away. Lucy's cell phone rings, it's Jackson.

“Hey, Jackson. Now is not really a good time,” she tells him. She takes a few steps away from Tim and leans against the bathroom door. Through the mirror of the medical cabinet, she can see him rummaging in his bag for a spare t-shirt and pulling the one he's wearing over his head. His broad shoulders tense and his bulging chest come into view.

Lucy never thought about what her TO would look like without a shirt. She is slightly embarrassed when she catches herself staring a tad too long, but she can't deny it. He is damn good looking. Tim fumbles with his belt and when he turns around, Lucy startles and hides behind the door. _What are you doing, you fool?_

Tim’s not sure if he just caught her watching him change, but this room is so fucking small, he'll probably have a hard time not getting undressed in front of her. He didn't overhear who she was talking to, so he takes a step closer to the bathroom to eavesdrop. Anything that could jeopardize the mission is dangerous. That includes private phone conversations.

“Lucy? Can you hear me, hello? Earth to Lucy?”

“I’m sorry Jackson, I just got… distracted. What did you say?”

“I just wanted to let you know that Lopez and I are going to be on the surveillance team for your mission. So, anything that comes in over your bug will come right at us. We’ll be just around the corner to intervene if shit’s going to go down, alright?”

“Alright, thank you Jackson,” she hangs up and takes a sharp breath. Tilting her head, she watches herself in the mirror. She didn't bring any particularly pretty clothes to put on, so a little makeup is probably the only thing that could save this look. She brushes the hair ribbon from her ponytail and lets that dark, full hair fall down her shoulders.

“You look nice,” Tim sneaks up behind her and leans against the door frame. He smells of cologne and freshly washed cotton. He twitches the corners of his mouth, almost as if he wants to smile at her, but then probably changed his mind because it's getting a tad too personal.

“Are you ready, _babe?_ ”, he mocks and reaches out his hand.

“More than ready,” she adds with a laugh and puts her hand in his. He squeezes it gently and pulls her closer, leading her out the room.

“Then let’s go finish this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for liking my story so far. English isn't my first language, so let me know if you have any corrections.


	3. open up to me

Lucy stretches her back, visibly strained by the whole situation. Holding his hand feels strange, but then again, she always knew that being around Tim means that she is safe, even without the guns and uniform. After all, it was him who once saved her life from being buried alive, even if he doesn't like to admit it. He seems to know what he is doing and she has promised to follow his instructions, he wouldn’t intentionally put her in any kind of danger. They look around, noting each room number and trying to eavesdrop to see if anyone is staying inside. Abigail approaches and claps her hands. "I see you've freshened up, what a handsome couple. If you want, you're welcome to have some lunch. I've set the table in the park.”

Tim smiles and puts his arm around Lucy's waist. He pulls her closer to him and Lucy stiffens. How can he do this so easily? A few days ago, he wouldn't have dared to look at her for more than a few seconds and now he holds her hand and grabs her like a perfectly trained actor. “Thank you, Abigail, we’d be happy to.”

Abigail set up a plastic table in the backyard. The chairs around it are metal and don't look very inviting to sit on, almost as bad as the armchair in their room. Puzzled, Tim looks up as he sits down and the metal squeaks loudly and Lucy tries to hold back a laugh before Abigail stands next to them with a notepad to take the order for Lunch. Admittedly a rather disappointing selection of dishes, but both order the fruit platter and some toast. Footsteps approach and a young woman pauses beside the two. She is tall, slender, and her golden strands of curls fall down her back almost down to her behind. She was beautiful without question. The woman smiles quickly at them and turns to her companion, who walks reservedly behind her and escorts her to their own table. A sophisticated couple. Tim and Lucy exchange brief looks. Communicating without words, they must be Jack and Lara Simmen. Lucy leans back and tries to listen to the couple's conversation while Tim adjusts his shirt, so the bug is not covered. With a slight head gesture in their direction, he tries to motivate his rookie to go talk to them. Jack and Lara seem to have noticed the awkward silence and wave politely.

"Beautiful weather today, isn't it?", Lucy blurts out. Tim's eyes widen. _Could it get any worse?_ That's exactly what he must be thinking of her right now. “Yeah." Jack Simmens answer is short and concise. They seem to have no interest in conversation. Lucy leans forward and tries to be as quiet as possible. “They don't look like felons at all." Tim smirks and stands up to walk toward the couple. The closer he gets, the more nervously Lucy edges around in her chair. What the hell is she supposed to do when they suddenly pull out a gun and shoot him down? She can't defend herself against the two. Not without any weapon and without her vest.

“Apologies Sir, Ma’am. We overheard the receptionist talking about a young couple that’s recently been married. We are actually new to town-“ Tim wags his fingers between him and Lucy, “and would love to meet some new people from around the area. Wanna join us for a cup of coffee?”

Lucy can't believe that worked, Tim has more than a convincing naturalness that keeps amazing her. So now they are sitting there, at a table with two felons, drinking coffee and not in her wildest dreams would she have imagined that she would be allowed to take on this task in her rookie days.

“Now, where are you from? The accent doesn't sound familiar. You're not from around here, are you?", Lucy asks, acting curious.

"My husband and I are originally from Brighton, England. Let's say... a project brought us to America,” Lara replies.

“A project?”, Tim leans back in his chair, hoping to get just the smallest information about their plans out of them. Again and again, Jack nervously taps his leg up and down as if he's waiting for something that's not coming and now Lucy starts to notice his irritation. _Tim asks too many questions._

“Enough about us,” Lara cleverly avoids the question and turns to Lucy, “what about you two? You don’t seem very much in love for soon-to-be-weds.” Lucy nervously raises a laugh and turns to Tim, who is still sitting back, calm as a cucumber.

“He’s not one for much PDA, isn’t that right, babe?” Tim nods slightly and hesitantly places his hand on her lap. Lost in thought, he strokes his thumb over her jeans, thinking about how to redirect the conversation. “We definitely can't compete with you guys. You seem to be… _inseparable_ ,” he says. A useful tactic to find out if they can be separated and distracted from one another.

Jack then laughs and presses a kiss to Lara's cheek. "I'd walk through fire for her, even if she drives me crazy sometimes."

"Isn't that what love is all about? To reach out a hand and take it and never let go?”, Lara adds.

_I wouldn't know_ , Lucy thinks. She was never loved like that before. She rests her hand on Tim's, which is still on her lap, and pinches it gently. _Please, you have to answer_ , she begs silently in her mind. He doesn't look at her, but she feels him gently clasping her fingers and for a brief moment she's not sure if it's an act or not. “Absolutely,” he answers.

Jack reaches for his beer bottle and lifts it to his mouth. “How did you two meet? And who popped the question?”

“We uhm… work together,” Tim says. _Come on Tim, it can't be that hard._ “I’m her supervisor.” _Technically, you’re not lying to them._

“Oh, I see, forbidden love, our favorite,” Lara mutters under her breath. A funny feeling passes through Lucy's stomach.

“We work for the city; we help people with… problems. We’re looking for something more challenging. Trying to make more money around here. What do you do?”

“Oh Lucy, we also help people with problems and you two just became very interesting to us.”

Lara leans toward her husband and caresses his cheek, before whispering something in his ear. Her hand brushes over his chest. There is an awkward silence and Lucy tries to sit still on the hard metal, always squinting at Tim to see what he is doing. He's patting his fingers on the plastic table and his eyes are narrowed.

Jack coughs. “You are nice people, we want to help you. You want adventure and extra cash? We need people who can get things for us. It’s a win-win.”

“Get things for you?” Tim fiddles with his shirt so that the bug is positioned correctly again.

“The cops are on our tail. We've taken something that doesn't really belong to us a few times, if you know what I mean. If you could get us documents that would get us out of here and clear our name, you'd get a lot of stash that could be useful to you for your fresh start. What do you think?”

That was easier than expected. _They must be desperate_ , Tim thinks. 

“We’re in.”

* * *

“I have to admit, that was kind of scary,” Lucy says and throws her denim jacket on the bed. Tim throws himself on the armchair and takes a deep breath.

“You did okay.”

“Did you just compliment me?”

“Don’t get used to it.” Visibly bothered that she has caught him being nice, he wags his hand in front of his face.

It's been a long day, and they're both getting ready for a short night. Lucy lies down on the squeaky bed and puffs out exhaustedly as she covers herself up. She watches Tim try to get at least a little comfortable in the chair-of-death.

"Are you sure you want to sleep there? I can make room on the bed, too."

He shakes his head. “It’s fine.”

“Don’t be silly, I can build a wall, look!" She grabs the pillows lying around and creatively places them in the middle of the mattress to separate the two sides. He finally gives in, presses himself up and lies down next to her, sliding all the way to his edge.

“You were so nice to me today, it was like I was on holiday,” Lucy chuckles.

“We’re on a job here, boot. Did you forget that we have to be convincing actors? They bought it, that’s all that matters.”

"You know, you don’t have to be like this.” His heart drops.

“Like what?”

“You always act like the tough, out-of-the-way cop. You're pretending, but you're not like that at all,” she softly whispers under her breath. His chest rises and falls, it's too quiet, she can hear his heart racing. Is she making him nervous?

"It has nothing to do with you." Yet, it does. It hurts his heart to know that she has already suffered so much because of him. Even though she insists that the Rosalind and Caleb thing wasn't his fault, he can't get it out of his head. If he hadn't opened up to her like that and intervened in her privacy, the whole thing would never have happened.

He turns to his side slightly and pushes down a pillow, their faces now just inches away from each other. The moonlight glinting through the gap in the curtains causes her eyes to light up. It is the first time that he looks at her, really looks at her. Only now does he notice the unusual shade of brown in her eyes and her features. Her cheeks, which he seems to see blushing in the darkness.

"I have to be like this. You wouldn't be the officer you are now if I was any different. Also do I have to remind you that last time I was nice to you, you got kidnapped and almost died?"

"I wouldn't want you to be different. I like the man... the officer you are. What happened with Caleb is not your fault, you know that." She would be lying if she did not admit to herself what she had just felt. Her heart did a strange leap when he was looking at her. He lifts his hand and gently strokes a strand behind her ear that has fallen over her eyes. She doesn't seem to have noticed, her eyes are closed and she has already fallen asleep.

* * *

_Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper I love you, birds singing in the sycamore tree…_

Not again. Please, for the love of god, not again.

_Dream a little dream of me…_

DOD12919.

She snaps her eyes open, looking for support to hold on to and breathing heavily. The ringing in her ear quiets and she hears the hazy calls of Tim and his warm hands on her arm.

“Tim?”

“Look at me, wake up. You’re alright.” Confused and in surprise, he shakes her awake until her breathing returns to normal and she topples backward, exhausted.

He sits opposite her, helpless against the power of her fear.

"What the hell was that?"

“It was nothing, I … just had a bad dream.”

“That wasn’t just a bad dream, you were screaming.”

She can't explain it to him. He would only make himself feel more guilty. It's best if he thinks it's a one-time thing. How can she admit that she can't handle it as strongly as everyone thinks she does?

“It’s alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

He doesn't believe a word she says. It was a complete panic attack. “It’s 4 AM, boot. Maybe you should go take a shower. It’s going to be a long day.” It all makes sense, all the blackouts during work, her being absent. This isn't the first time she's had nightmares and he’s sure of it. He couldn't forgive himself if something happened to her again because of this. Especially not now, during this important mission. He would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about her.

He clenches his teeth as she stands up, her tattoo peeking out as her shirt slips up. Lucy notices his discomfort and pushes the fabric down further. "It's not about that, don't worry."

“I didn’t say anything.” Only in thoughts.

“I can handle whatever is coming, I promise.” 

“You’re a hypocrite, you know?” Maybe he should have just shut up. She turns to him in surprise.

“Excuse me?”

“You ask me why I don’t open up to you, why I am who I am, _acting tough,_ but you are exactly like me. You are letting this one thing get to you. What this coward did to you doesn’t define you; it doesn’t define who you are or what kind of officer you’re going to be. Don’t let it control your mind.”

Tim stares into Lucys baffled face. Maybe he was too harsh on her, but there is no other way he could help her. As he said before, she wouldn’t be the officer she is now without his kind of training, although sometimes he wished he could be less hurtful.

“It’s not that easy,” she answers in distress and tries to turn away, but he holds her back, grabbing her wrist.

“For me, there is no other way to do my job. If I let everything bad that happened to me in during work or on patrol, I am going to fuck it up. There’s no place for emotions that could put us in jeopardy.”

“I get that, I do.”

“I don’t think you do. These nightmares control you, Chen. Look what they’ve done to you. You’re not yourself anymore.”

She doesn't want to admit it that he is right.

“Let’s just get back to faking it, Officer Bradford.” Her answer is cold, emotionless. She turns away from him and leaves him standing in the darkness before she slams the bathroom door behind her.


	4. can I have this dance?

“It's a disaster, Jackson. We had a fight, now it's weird. How am I supposed to put up with this for so many more days? One minute he's all nice and then all of a sudden, he puts up this wall again and won't let me get close to him. I just can't read him." She can hear Jackson chew on something crunchy through the phone.

“He's your TO, Luce. You don't owe him anything and you certainly don't have to squeeze anything out of him. Soon this hocus pocus will be over and we can go back to stuffing our faces with pizza. Jack and Lara Simmen seem to have taken a really good bite already."

“Speaking of bite, we'll take them out for dinner later. They want to get to know us and make a plan on how to get the next goods. Maybe we can tease out of them where they want to go."

“Officer Lopez has already spoken with Grey about the arrest plans. The motel is not a safe place for an attack. It's too exposed, we can't attack. If you find out what the next target is, we can wait for them there and surprise them."

She nods but obviously he can’t see her. “We'll do what we can. I have to go now, i'll talk to you later.”

Tim leans against the doorframe, his arms crossed. He bites his lower lip, not daring to say anything. Lucy walks past him out the door and ahead to the garden, where Abigail has already set the table for dinner again. Lara is sitting at the end of the plastic table and is about to light a fresh cigarette. “I'm sure my husband will arrive soon. Did you have a pleasant day? I heard you screaming last night, must have been a wild night.” Lara winks at Lucy and draws on her cigarette, slowly blowing the smoke out of her nose.

“Is there anything we can help you with, any plans you would like to share with us?”, Tim avoids Lara's comment.

“Don't get ahead of yourself. I am impressed by your eagerness, but there is much to do before we dive in. Did you know that the media calls us the modern Bonnie and Clyde?” That woman sure has a knack for getting off topic. Tim and Lucy simultaneously shake their heads.

“I've always had a thing for tragic love stories, haven't you?”, she laughs and Jack walks past her, kissing her forehead and sitting down next to her. He jumps in on the conversation. “I hope you understand that we don't just make deals with strangers. We need a certain security.”

Tim tries to remember every detail of the scene. What the two are wearing, the way they gesture, where they avert their gazes. Every little thing could be of importance later on.

Lucy weighs in. “What kind of security?”

“A favor. I don’t know what I’ll need, but you are people who work for the city, that is quite useful. And of course, we want to know more about you first before we let you anywhere near our stuff. You don't like to talk about yourselves, do you?”

“What do you wanna know?” Tim takes a sip of wine.

Lara stubs out the cigarette and sits on Jack's lap. “It is important that we pursue the same goals, have the same priorities. How far would you go for one another?” Tim smirks. She seems to know exactly what she is doing. Maybe they didn't play well enough, maybe they've already been exposed. Why else would she ask something so personal and irrelevant to their plans?

“Does that matter?” Lucy asks.

“Of course it matters, honey. If something goes wrong and one of you is left behind, we need to know that the other won't suddenly chicken out and leave us hanging,” Jack spits back at her.

“We won’t chicken out,” she tells him, trying to be convincing.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“No one is going to die, I won’t let that happen,” Tim interrupts.

“You mean you won’t let _her_ die.” What is Jack Simmen getting at?

“Of course not, I…”

“You love her, we get that. She’s your girl.” Jack rolls his eyes, his wife gives him a soft slap on his shoulder, asking him to behave. Tim lowers his gaze; he doesn’t answer. This dinner is getting more and more uncomfortable. And the reminder that the entire Mid-Wilshire Station team could be listening to their conversation right now doesn't make it any less awkward.

“I’m just messing with you,” Jack continues, winking at him in pleasure. He's a terribly conceited man, Lucy thinks. How the hell could this woman fall in love with him, let alone any woman?

“There is a volt full of cash in a mansion of some rich ass guy, near Hollywood Hills. We have a few mates of ours positioned around to check out the area and find out when the cash is guarded and when it is not. If we can get the blueprints for the building to plan how best to get in, we can get the stuff and get the fuck out of here.”

Jack points to Tim's drink and asks him to keep drinking. Time passes in a flash; Lucy has stopped counting how much glasses of wine and beer they’ve been emptying. Tim tries to remain focused. He can't be allowed to lose control.

“I love this song,” Lara points to the speaker hanging down the run-down brick wall next to them. “How about we dance?”

Before anyone can intervene, Lara is already on her feet, yanking Jack up and to the side. Darkness has already fallen, the only available light shines from the oil lamp on the broken plastic table, and behind the faint sound of jazz music from the speaker, the chirping of crickets can be heard echoing from the forest. He twirls her under his arms and pulls her against him, her head rests on his shoulder and they slowly sway from one foot to the other. Lara lifts her chin in Tim's direction. He understands her gesture and turns to Lucy. He nods at her insecurely. _Is a dance too much?_

He stands up and reaches out his hand.

"But only because I've already been drinking,” he murmurs, and she smiles slightly. He likes her smile, he hasn't seen it all day today, which of course is kind of his fault, so he doesn’t blame her.

Tim pulls her up and guides her next to Jack and Lara, then smoothly puts his hand on her hip. He notices how she tenses up. Is it really that much uncomfortable for her to be close to him? They both just have to go through with this now.

She doesn't dare looking at him. He can see through her too easily. He would realize instantly that she would like to sink into the ground and the whole charade would be blown up because sooner or later, Jack and Lara are going to notice too. She is not a good actress; this assignment is definitely the wrong one to win points. _You've outdone yourself again this time, Lucy. The best thing you can do is just abort this damn mission._

They briefly lock eyes before Lara interrupts them with her high-pitched laugh. “You can fit a truck in there. You're like an old married couple. Where the hell is your passion?”

Tim closes his eyes and pulls Lucy closer to him. Her head lies on his chest, his hand glides over her back. The last time they were this close was the day he cradled her in his arms at the burial site. It is again this feeling of security that overcomes her like a veil and her muscles relax, she lets herself fall.

She feels his breath tickling her ear, then he whispers to her. “I’m sorry about what I said to you this morning. It was out of line and unprofessional.” She shakes her head and lifts it up to look at him.

“Can we not talk about this right now?” He nods.

They stand there for a while, slowly gliding across the cold asphalt, until Jack's smoky voice snaps them out. “Now this is what we’re talking about,” he comments and gestures at Tim and Lucy.

Convinced, task accomplished. Lucy backs away.

“Don’t stop on my account,” he adds.

“We should go to bed, it’s already super late,” Lucy says, patting Tim on his shoulder and walking off towards their room.

They do not speak to each other, the pillow wall and an unnerving silence between them.

* * *

Lucy promised herself not to get distracted. Now she's here, lying on a bed, thinking about everything else but the mission. Maybe she should just forgive and forget to be able to keep her head in the game, just like he told her. Even though what he said to her was hurtful, it did have truth to it. She can't demand for him to break down his walls if she doesn't break down hers as well, he's right. For this mission to work, there needs to be complete mutual trust, not a shred of doubt between them. They’re adults and they're friends, for fuck's sake, it can't be that hard.

She watches her TO walk up and down the room while he’s talking on the phone. He seems strained.

Sergeant Grey talks through the phone. “We can get the blueprints, Officer Bradford, that shouldn't be a problem. Officer Nolan and Harper are already on their way to the owner. Good work so far. Don't ask them too many questions, let them guide you. Simmen is an incredibly perceptive man.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“I know that this task also nags on your conscience. Put aside personal indifferences with Officer Chen and focus on your job.” They must have heard him apologize to her. It is better not to dwell on it. “We’ve also noticed unusual activity around your truck. Stay alert and don't let anyone too close or unattended to the truck, not even Officer Chen, got it? If someone is following you or her, you could get exposed or worse. We don’t know if Jack and Lara are armed.” Someone has been snooping around his truck.

“Understood.” Tim hangs up and sits down next to Lucy, taking an exhausted breath.

“Listen, I want to say I’m sorry too. This stupid fight was childish. You’re right that I need to try to move on. I just think this mission is too much and I do care about what you try to teach me but…,” Lucy starts.

“Don’t say that. You told me you could do this, so we’ll finish this. And you didn’t do a terrible job so far. But even Grey noticed something was up between us. We need to focus on this, we need to be more convincing. At dinner it felt like Jack was suspicious about something,” he thinks about how Jack peppered him with questions. It was a very odd situation. “He told me that someone was snooping around the truck. We need to take a look at it tonight. But first, you need to tell me about those nightmares.”

“What?”

“Maybe it helps if you talk about it… helps to let go, I mean.”

Lucy nods slightly, embarrassed that he saw what he saw. She doesn't even know where to begin. It is what she was perhaps most afraid of, but it’s also time to take that first step. She tells him about Doris Day's song, the stifling air in the barrel, Calebs' devilish laughter, and the night in the bar before he took her. She can barely remember the order, runs her finger over the tattoo over again, as if it could unlock more and more events to retell. Tim listens carefully, not allowing himself to be distracted, biting his lower lip repeatedly as he thinks about what happened to her. He recalls how he found her ring and tells her how the whole team searched tirelessly for her. She smiles softly and blushes. It does in fact give her a relieving feeling to know that so many people care about her.

Since they met, since Tim became her TO, the two have probably never spoken to each other more than they did today. He catches himself watching her a little longer than allowed. He focuses on her full lips, how they emphasize every word that comes out of them, and her eyes that can perfectly showcase every emotion of her story. Her soft hands and how they pluck lostly at the fabric of the mattress. He admires her, even if he doesn't like to admit it.

Someone knocks on the door and snaps them out of their conversation. Tim jumps up and approaches, peers out from behind the curtain and sees Jack nervously rocking back and forth in front. He opens and nods to him in greeting.

“There are cops out there, come on, we’ve got some work to do,” he snorts and reaches into his pocket. He takes out a .22 pistol, unlocks it and places it in Tim's hands. Lucy watches the scenario from her bed and reaches for her bug on the nightstand, trying to clip it to her shirt under the pressure of time, but she's too slow. Jack beckons her over and she follows him without argument. Damn, no bug, neither her nor Tim. He must have seen someone from the LAPD watching him.

“Cops?” Tim plays dumb.

“There's a truck out there in the parking lot. I looked in through the side window and guess what was lying there? A police badge. No idea where the pig is, but we're going to find him and we're going to fix the problem. Understand? You know how to use one of these?” Jack points to the gun. Tim then nods, squints his eyes, and turns to Lucy. As she gets up to walk towards him, he signals her to stop and not follow him.

"I don't want her to come with us," he demands of Jack. The man thinks for a moment, nibbles his fingernails, and nods. "My wife is waiting at the back entrance of the motel, checking to make sure no one can sneak away. She can go to her and take a look out."

"I'm not letting you do this by yourself," Lucy intervenes.

Under no circumstances is he going to let her come along. They didn't have time to bug themselves, he doesn't know how many more weapons this man is hiding, they are not wearing a vest or any protection to defend themselves. It would be irresponsible to put his rookie in such danger. Lucy takes a running start and tries to goes after them, but Tim pulls the door shut behind him and follows Jack out onto the courtyard.

Frantically, Lucy searches for her phone and speed dials.

“7-Adam-19, this is Officer Chen. Officer Bradford is following Simmen, not bugged. He is armed. I repeat, he is armed. They saw our car, the police badge. We have weapons in the trunk. If he sees the weapons, he might kill him.”

“Officer Chen, this is Officer Lopez. You are unarmed, do not go near Simmen. Tim can deal with him, don't worry. You are only putting yourself in danger if you tag along without anything to protect yourself. Is Lara Simmen in sight?”

Lopez is right, Tim has somehow gotten out of every impossible situation so far. “Simmen ordered me to meet her in the garden to stand guard. They think there is a policeman around.”

“There are none of our people in the immediate area. They won't find anything or anyone out there, nothing is going happen.”

She inhales deeply, trying to calm her nervous heartbeat.

"We can't track Bradford anymore because he doesn't have a device on him. Keep us informed and don't put your bug down, do you hear me?", Lopez asks calmly.

"I understand."

She hangs up and swipes the bug under her chest. If she does something wrong now, they're fucked. She closes her eyes, thinks of Tim's words and makes her way to Lara in the garden.

Then three shots are fired.


	5. bonne nuit, mon presque amant

Tim follows Jack into the front yard, his fingers closed tightly around the gun. He tries not to handle it too professionally. Jack tilts his head to the side and points at Tim's truck. He nods submissively and walks around it, pretending to eye the car sternly. How could he be so stupid as to leave his badge so visible? Mistakes like that don't happen to him. He hears Jack's erratic breathing, his rough, ugly cough, and the clack of his boots on the crumbling gravel.

Jack approaches the trunk, tries to force it open. In vain.

"Maybe we'd better go look for someone, what do you think?", Tim tries to distract him from the car.

"Are you hiding something from me, my friend?", Jack spits back, but after an awkward second of silence, he laughs out loud. "I'm just fucking with you."

For a moment, he thought his heart was slipping into his pants. Tim studies Jack's physics, his posture, his mannerisms. Maybe he could overpower him with the gun. He would definitely be strong enough to tackle him. But if he tried to arrest Jack here and now, it would cause too much of a ruckus. And Lucy went after Lara unarmed. She might be helpless against her and he doesn't want to take that risk.

Jack grabs Tim's arm. They hear footsteps approaching and squeeze themselves onto the back side of the truck.

"Someone must have followed us," Tim whispers.

"It has to be the rat who owns this damn truck. Take down the license plates. I want you and your bride to find out who owns that ride. You can do that, can't you? Tell me you know how to do that. That’s possible, right?"

Suddenly, the city's most wanted criminal, so invincible, seems helpless. Something is fishy about this whole thing, Tim thinks. This couple has robbed more banks than Bonnie and Clyde and left even fewer clues. They've been able to go into hiding for months and barely leave a trail, and now he wants to sell him on not even knowing if a license plate can be tracked? Tim suspects something, and it's not exactly what he was hoping to get out of this mission.

The sound of footsteps approach and without hesitation Jack leans to the side and shoots.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Tim flinches, trying to shake the loud ringing of the ricochet out of his hearing. He tries to pull it together and when he finally regains his focus, he stares at Jack. He's still leaning against the car, grinning at Tim.

"Who the hell were you shooting at?"

"You could learn something from me," is the only thing he gets in response.

He leans around the corner and looks at.... nothing at all. The only thing Jack has hit are the old motel walls. Tim exhales, this could have ended much worse. Who was here? Whose footsteps did they hear?

"You can't hesitate, buddy. If we go for the stuff and someone gets in your way, you're going to have to shoot them, understand?"

Tim nods. Someone peeks out from between the hallway curtains, it's Abigail.

"That girl got some cash from us to keep her mouth shut. Can’t have anyone know we’re in this god forsaken area. Alright, like I said, you and your girl are gonna go get those blueprints and the license plate registration and we’ll meet back here tomorrow.”

“By that time, the car and the person we’re looking for could already be gone. What use is it going to have if we find out whose car this is? The best thing to do is to get the fuck out of here. I know a place where we can go.” Straight into the arms of the LAPD, that’s right.

Jack squints his eyes and raises his hand to his mouth to continue biting his already gnawed fingernails. He really doesn't seem to have the sharpest mind and absolutely no steadfast plan. Tim's concern seems to be confirmed. What if Jack and Lara are just part of a network, or minions for some boss for whom they are just carrying out simple orders?

“Not before I can get on those blueprints. I want them by tomorrow evening. As soon as I figure out how to get into this building unnoticed, we're out of here.”

* * *

She tries not to worry about it. Nothing will have happened, he is fine, he is fine, he is okay. Lucy peeks around the corner and watches Lara bob up and down on her heels, tranquil, as if those shots never happened. Not a soul around, just the flutter of birds and the echo of gunshots reverberating through the forest. _You can't let that distract you, Lucy. It's your job, it's his job. Focus on the task at hand. S_ he approaches Lara, who smiles at her with a familiarity as if they had known each other for ages.

“Did you hear those gun shots?” Lucy asks her and she nods.

"Remember when we asked how far you would go for each other? Whatever is happening right now, we need to focus on making sure no one finds us."

“Aren’t you worried about your husband?”

Lara chews on her lip. She looks unsure how to respond to this, so she shrugs. “What about you? Are you worried?”

Like never before. Lucy tries to organize her feelings. She tried to tell herself it's concern for her own life, her job. But as soon as she allows her thoughts to wander off, they drift off to him. Not her TO, not the officer he is, or her supervisor and fake fiancé on a mission. Just Tim. The thought that these feelings could develop into something more than the special… friendship… they have with each other scares her. _He's your superior, he's older than you, and anyway, the whole thing would be absolutely not acceptable, so get a grip, you idiot._ Besides, he would have never felt the same for her. _Please don't let him be dead. I am not a believer, but I pray to that higher power up there, if you can hear me, that he is still alive._

“I’m fine,” Lucy answers and then turns off her thoughts, like a black curtain closing in front of her eyes, bringing her back to reality. Even if he is dead now, she will have to finish this mission, even without him. She will prove it to him, and to Grey. Footsteps approach and Lara pulls her pistol from her back pocket, pointing it at the alley between the motel entrance and the backyard without hesitation. Lucy raises her gun hand to her hip. _Damn it, you're not in uniform, concentrate._

Jack sniffles, waves Lara over in glee, then she runs at him and jumps into his arms. He lifts her up and kisses her. Just behind them, Tim peers around the corner, his brow taut, his hand brushing rubble over his thigh. Maybe Lucy only imagined this moment, but she could swear the seconds he stepped out from behind the wall passed in slow motion. Her thoughts circle. Joy, surprise, fear, and the effort of not falling into his arms. He stops, nods politely to her. It's the same nod he gives her when she's done a decent job on patrol or when they say goodbye to each other after a long day of work. It’s professional and reserved, as always.

Tim tenses his muscles. Every fiber in his body tells him to walk up to her and take her in his arms. She's safe, she's fine. This goddamn day is already over for him. This mission that demands everything of him, that makes him doubt all the principles of his profession, and that triggers feelings and words he never knew before. He pushes them back and gives her a friendly nod. The familiar nod that she already knows. He can't place her facial expression, wondering what she is thinking right now, whether she was just as worried.

“Don't be shy, boy. Go kiss your bride,” Jack shouts at him. "The good man is going to get the license registration names ready for us, find out who this shit ass car belongs to. Then we'll take down the people standing in our way, baby. We’ll be rich and we can go wherever you want… Hawaii…"

Jack's voice gets quieter as Tim moves away from him. Lucy lowers her gaze, trying not to let on that she is blushing as he walks towards her. Reserved, he stops in front of her and clears his throat.

Lucy takes the lead. “I thought you were shot.” She tries not to let on that it frightens her.

Tim hesitates. "Then you would have finished the job.” He tries not to let on that he cares.

"He wants you to kiss me." Visibly uncomfortable, but Jack stares at them suspiciously. Tim swallows and catches his breath. He looks past her, scratching his arm nervously.

“No.” He leans forward, tenderly placing his lips on her forehead. But then he turns away and walks off, not daring to look her in the eyes. He can't. He cannot dare to take this step. Not because he thinks she can't handle it professionally, but because he doesn't trust himself.

* * *

“Sergeant Grey. What happened today could also have ended fatally. I don't think we can complete this mission without help. It's too dangerous,” Tim almost begs at Grey over the phone.

“You have done an excellent job so far. As soon as Simmen lets you drive into the city in his car, we will wait for you across the city border and hand you the construction plans and a pseudo-registration. Once we know how they are going to proceed, we can wait for them there. You know the plan, Officer Bradford, you know what is at stake.”

“Our lives, sergeant. Our lives are at stake. I was unarmed, and you weren't even on alert. Officer Chen warned you. And if there really is a higher power behind Jack and Lara and these robberies, we don’t stand a chance. We may be able to convict Jack and Lara, but not an entire organization of criminals.” Tim can hardly believe he's fighting Grey over the safety of his best officer and his rookie.

“Officer Bradford, this is an order.”

“You could have attacked with the team long ago. We could have overpowered them.”

“This is a delicate matter. And if, as you say, there are other people behind it, an impossibility without innocent people being involved.”

Lucy has rarely seen him so upset. The last time they were on patrol together and he was face to face with Isabel. He roams the room, muttering angrily to himself and running his hands through his hair. It has grown longer, disheveled and still damp from the shower.

"What are we going to do now?", she asks.

“There is nothing we can do. Why won't he listen to me? We have to stop the whole thing... We can't...” He turns around and faces Lucy's gaze. She stands on her tiptoes, cups his face in her hands and presses her lips together to form a thin line.

“We are not quitters. We are completing this mission. Since when does Tim Bradford want to quit?"

“Since I was almost shot to death and you were standing there alone with two felons.”

“Even if, the LAPD would have stepped in. They wouldn't have just left you for the wolves to eat, and they certainly wouldn't have left me. What would the public think if a rookie got killed on a mission like that?”, she mocks and playfully boxes him in the shoulder.

“Maybe you are right. It's just... these days have been driving me crazy. No uniform, no protection.”

“You don't need your uniform to prove you're a great cop, Tim.”

He leans against the desk and watches as she braids her full head of hair into a pigtail. She turns away from him and sits cross-legged on the tottering bed. He does not respond to her compliment. To be precise, he doesn't know how to deal with it. He has never been good at dealing with compliments.

“You didn't do too badly today either. You kept your cool, like a real officer should,” he points at her.

“I had a quality teacher." Both chuckle and he slips his shirt over his head. Lucy tries not to stare and leans back on her bed, turning sideways and turning off the bedside table lamp. She feels Tim drop down next to her and take a deep breath. She turns around, but all she stares at is the grey pillow wall separating them.

“Good night, boot” he whispers softly.

“Good night, Tim.”


	6. on the road to malibu

Jack drives an old Honda Civic, nothing nice to look at. The sight of this jalopy hurts Tim's heart. He is a car lover, and what he has before his eyes is a pile of junk. He wipes the dusty gravel off the window and looks inside. Jack pats him on the shoulder and presses a burner phone into his hand. 

"If you get into trouble, call the number you saved. Do you have the guns?"

Tim nods and squints at Lucy, who is leaning nervously against the passenger side.

"If you're not back in 24 hours, we'll assume the cops have caught you."

"That's not going to happen," Tim assures, continuing, "I have a buddy out of town, in Malibu. He has information we can use."

"Isn't this an incredible coincidence that we met here? We are a good team, you can be something more," Lara adds.

"Yes, an incredible coincidence," Lucy mumbles sarcastically to herself, hoping that no one can hear. She leans down and sits on the passenger seat, it squeaks and creaks, she feels something hard under her butt and grabs it with her hands, a metal spring. Tim sits down behind the steering wheel and sighs.

"I can't remember the last time I drove a manual shift."

"Officer Bradford, is there actually something you can't do?" Lucy gasps. He frowns and clicks his tongue.

"Is that a challenge? I was born for this, Officer Chen," he smiles and turns the key.

The first forest trail and the ride away from the hotel out of the mountains feels like a liberation. Finally breathe deeply, no longer have to pay attention on how to behave, who could hear something, constantly be under observation. No longer straining to convince someone to be a couple in love. The first hour of silence seems to do them both good. Lucy observes the constant change of scenery the more they drive back into downtown Los Angeles. Every now and then she closes her eyes, dozes, tries to think of other thoughts, just relax. Tim desperately tries to turn around the volume knob on the radio to get rid of the static noise and finally lands on an acceptable station. Soft country music blares through the speakers, again he looks at Lucy, who has fallen asleep altogether in the meantime. It's been exhausting few days and it won't get any easier. The biggest challenge is waiting around the corner. He thinks about what he saw and heard in the parking lot before Jack shot indiscriminately at a blank stone wall. Tim feels Lucy shivering and gently reaches over to pull her leather jacket higher up to her neck, she has put it on her lap to cover herself. He begrudges her sleep, even if it will be short. She has done well so far in this mission, maybe he underestimated her too much. She is an excellent rookie and probably didn't even need those extra points.

Another hour passes and Lucy is startled out of her sleep when she hits her head on the window over a bumpy road.

“Sorry,” Tim whispers, “it’s bumpy.”

“How long have I been asleep? That was super unprofessional of me.” she rubs her eyes and flattens her hair.

“A little over an hour. It's all right, been a busy week.”

She observes his stern look. He seems tense. “Is something wrong?” she asks, wondering.

“You know, I'm so sure I heard someone in that parking lot before he shot. I could have sworn there was someone there. There were clear footsteps in the gravel, it couldn't have been an animal. Abigail was inside, you and Lara Simmen in the back. There was someone else.” Tim drums his fingers on the leather of the steering wheel.

“Who are you thinking about?”

“I don't know if it was someone who had something to do with them or someone they were just as reluctant to see. I guess we’ll have to find out.” Tim is perceptive, Lucy has known that since she first met him. When he has a lead, it's usually been the right one. She trusts him, so she believes him.

“We still have a few hours to go. Why don't we play a game?”, Lucy suggests and Tim looks at her, puzzled.

"Don't give me that look, let's play truth or dare or something."

"How old are we? Twelve?" Tim shakes his head.

"Okay, dare doesn't work anyways. So, let's play truth. I'll ask you a question and you ask me a question and so on."

"Yeah no.”

"Don't be such a party pooper. Are you going to stare into space for hours without saying any words?"

"I'm not staring into space, boot; I'm keeping my eyes on the road, as a police officer on duty should."

"And you do that very well, Grandma. Only you can answer questions while you're doing it. You said yourself there's nothing you can't do."

Damn, he shot himself in the foot there.

"All right then, shoot,” he gives in. Victory! She always had the talent to wrap him around her finger. Lucy sits back and thinks. She nibbles her lips and then smiles. "What was your first thought when you found out you were going to be my TO?"

“That I will have to quit willy-nilly,” he smirks, “No, I was unsure, to be honest. You're small, dainty, I didn't think you'd be so... tough. Then you arrested that guy on the first day.”

“That was cool, right?”

“It was important to me that I treat you like any other rookie. No special treatment because you are a woman. So, it didn't really matter to me who you are. Now, my turn.” That is the truth. He didn't care who she was. And he definitely would not have expected that he... whatever.

Eager to hear his question, Lucy stares at him. “Why exactly did you set me up with Rachel? Of all the women there are. Why Rachel, your closest friend?”

She shrugs her shoulders. "There's no one I trust more." _I wonder who she meant by that_ , Tim ponders. “She is my best friend. I knew you would take good care of her. You’re good man. You deserve each other.”

“Whatever else is or was between me and Rachel... She's in New York and I'm here. It doesn't matter anymore.”

“Do you love her?” she asks him bluntly.

Tim scoffs and shakes his head in disapproval. "What kind of question is that?"

“An easy one, do you love her or not?”

He remembers back to a situation when Rachel and he were lounging on the couch together, not doing anything special. It was a nice evening, he had lit candles and cooked her spaghetti, they watched a movie and just laid there, arm in arm. Rachel said those three words. She kissed him and told him the words without hesitation. With a naturalness and certainty that he hadn't known before, not even with Isabel. But he hesitated. The only thing he could do was smile kindly and kiss her. It was not the same between them since. They didn't bring it up again, but she seems to have been hurt. Maybe that's the answer to Lucy's question.

Tim deflects the question. This game got too serious too quickly. "You like sticking your nose into things that don't concern you, don't you?"

Lucy laughs. "That's why you like me. And I do think it's my business. After all, I am the reason you guys got together."

"Pfft. Don't get ahead of yourself, boot."

They don't talk much for the next hour. Once stopped to get fresh coffee and Lucy keeps texting Jackson and Officer Lopez to let them know where they are. It's not long now until they reach Malibu, but the drive seems like an eternity to them. While on the job, while they're on patrol, it's different. Maybe it's because they are constantly disturbed by their radio and a new assignment, but this time it's an awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere. Both of them don't seem to know what to say to each other. Then Lucy starts a conversation to lighten the mood a bit.

“Do you know what my favorite book is?”

“Let me guess, Jane Austen.”

“No, but great guess. It’s a novel about this girl Rae, she’s been going through some rough times, didn’t have it easy in life. She has this friend who suggests that she should go hiking in Canada, like some sort of liberation and there’s this national park among vast landscapes, literally just her and nature. But she meets this guy called Caden and … and they’re both so broken inside, been dealing with so much terrible things and they were both so sure they couldn’t heal. But they fell in love with each other, although they both were fighting against it for so long and…”

Tim enjoys listening to Lucy, even if he doesn't like to admit it. She has a way of talking and using words that fascinates him. Especially when she talks about things she loves. Like now. He feels his heart starting to beat faster as he looks at her, then he turns his head away. She seems just as flustered as he is when she catches him doing it.

He stares ahead and clamps his fingers tighter around the steering wheel. "So, you're a hopeless romantic who likes to read soppy books."

“I would be lying if I said I didn't sometimes hope to be loved that much.” Her words hit him harder than he wants to let on. He almost feels sorry for her.

“I'm sure you will.”

She smiles at him sheepishly. "You really think so?"

“Why? Don't you believe in it?”

“After everything that happened. It's hard for me to fully commit to someone again, to trust someone,” she murmurs and bites her lip.

Tim thinks back to the story with Caleb and shakes his head guiltily. “It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. You will be able to do it again. A few days ago, you had a freakish nightmare and look at you now, the last two nights you even slept through,” he answers. Lucy is reluctant to admit that it was probably because she didn't have to sleep alone for the first time in a long time.

“I hope you’re right,” she says and lowers her head.

* * *

The sun shines brilliantly as expected and a view of the sea, the beach and the annoyingly huge number of seagulls. But because everything just fits together, the notes of someone angrily singing on the car radio become flying anxiety, enveloping them in a sense of exhilaration. They've almost made it.

“Why did it have to be Malibu, of all places? Why couldn't we just meet at the LAPD?” Lucy asks.

“Are you serious? What do you think would happen if we were followed? We're still undercover, remember that. Don't say anything wrong when we get to Jackson and Angela. Or just don't say anything and let me do the talking.”

“You’re the boss,” she obeys.

Angela Lopez leans against a streetlight on the side of a remote country road off the beach. She wears sunglasses on her nose and her small baby bump bulges under her leather jacket. Jackson stands nervously next to her, not wearing a uniform. When he sees Lucy get out of the car, his face relaxes, and he waves her over happily. A few steps further back, Nolan stands and pretends he doesn't belong. He is probably wired just like the others and seems to be observing the situation closely. Angela reaches into her bag and pulls out a folder. She stretches it out toward Tim, who walks up to her and nods.

“Bradford, nice to see you again.”

“Likewise. Do you have what we need?”

“La Mesa Drive blueprints and the truck registration,” she agrees.

Lucy takes Jackson aside and hugs him. "I'm so glad to see you."

“How are you? Is Bradford treating you okay?” Jackson asks. She looks over at Nolan, then over at Tim and Angela as they are talking about something. She can't interpret what they're talking about and smiles approvingly at Jackson. She whispers softly. "I'm fine. It's not easy, Jackson. I'm trying to give it my all. Tim is… he’s actually been great.”

“Wait, are you blushing?” He gasps.

“What? No? Bullshit…”

“Did something happen between you two? Luce…”

“No, of course not!” That wasn't really a lie. Nothing happened between them. A few glances don't count, _right?_ Lucy frantically tries to change the subject. "What's John doing back there?"

“He has a recording device with him. Someone has to be a witness in case something goes wrong.

“What can go wrong?”

“I heard Bradford talking to Grey, Lopez and Harper on the phone. Officer Bradford suspects that more people are in cahoots with the Simmens. Grey has brought detectives into the case and they have identified several robberies that may be related to the Simmen case. There are definitely more people. They suspect that someone may have been following you to make sure you are really trustworthy and faithful to their cause.”

So, Tim was right.

“We have to go back and give them the plans, right? The LAPD can't attack right now?”

“They could, but they don't want to. Grey fears it could set off a chain reaction. If Jack and Lara are apprehended or even killed in an attack, someone else somewhere would take their job, and they would be unprepared for another attack if they don't know where or who it is. The most sensible thing to do is for you guys to go back and prepare the heist with them.”

"Yes, that seems to make the most sense. I heard them arguing about it. I don't think Tim likes that plan.”

"It's not for him to decide,” Jackson answers.

This is it then. They have to go back and keep up this charade. _You can do this Lucy, believe in yourself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am beyond thankful for the positive feedback and kudos I've gotten for this fic. This ship is so close to my heart and I can't wait to share more chapters with you.


	7. she who is of ethereal beauty

The drive back took a long time, there is an uncomfortable silence between the two. Perhaps neither of them knows exactly what is coming up for them this time around. To have to pretend again strenuously.

Lucy speaks up and startles Tim out of his thoughts. “You sure talked to Lopez for a long time. What was it about?”

Tim clamps his fingers tighter around the steering wheel and straightens up. He bites his lips. "They noticed it, too. The LAPD. It wasn't just Jack who noticed that something was wrong between us. We have to try harder. Nobody is going to believe us, and we’ll blow up the whole cover."

"That there's something wrong between us?" It couldn't have been _that_ tragic.

"You know, we're not exactly a convincing couple."

She knows what he means. It's not easy to fall around the neck of someone you've never been this close to before. Let alone your supervisor. And it hasn't felt like he's particularly enjoying it so far.

"I'm not a very good actress."

It pains Tim to know she has to try so hard to like him. "We don't have to overdo it," he counters.

They have the blueprints, the fake registration certificate, and only a limited amount of time to finally catch them. La Mesa Drive is getting closer and closer, and if they screw up this mission, he's going to be in big trouble.

And there they are again. It's the cool forest air that drifts through the open window of Jack's old car, the smell of gasoline, gravel and resin. They're back at the motel and feel even farther from home than ever before.

Jack leans against the shot-in wall, puffing on his cigarette. His hand runs over his wife's butt as she nervously paces up and down on her heels while Tim and Lucy pull into the parking lot. "About time," Jack tosses to them both, then flicks his cigarette on the ground and stomps on it with his heel. "Do you have what we asked you for?" They have barely gotten out of the car when he calls out to them. Tim reaches for his backpack and holds out the documents in front of him.

"I knew you were capable of something. Does anyone know you took the stuff? Did anyone follow you?"

"Of course not, we were paying attention. Nobody saw us," Lucy says.

Tim once again notices Jack's perceptive gaze. He senses his insecurity and lack of trust. As if magnetically attracted and without thinking, he stands at Lucy's side and puts a hand around her waist. He feels her tense, noticeably surprised by his action. He can imagine Jack not trusting him 100%, especially since they haven't been able to prove themselves to them before. And even though they've already spent almost a week with the two of them at the motel, they still haven't learned much about each other. As long as they're not about to get busted again, and the truck thing gets swept under the rug, everything's fine. Grey demanded to do his best. Lopez told him to try harder. So that's exactly what he's going to do now.

"Why don't we celebrate that? We're so close to winning, let's toast to that,” Tim proposes.

"What do you suggest, my friend?" asks Jack, wrapping his arm around his wife from behind without taking his eyes off Tim and Lucy. It's almost like a competition, a scene of jealousy to determine who can pay more attention to the woman at his side. Lucy catches on quickly and puts her arm around Tim, nuzzling close against his side. Even though she’s trying to fight against it, she can't shake the feeling that it feels more familiar than it should.

Tim speaks up again. "Why don't we let Abigail prepare something nice in the garden? I have whiskey, what do you say? We can get to know each other better, keep dancing - where we last left off."

Lara claps her hands. Her hair bounces around her shoulder and she beams. "That sounds wonderful. Let's do it, darling! We can dress up! It’s been so long since I last wore a nice dress. What do you say, Lucy?”

Tim smirks. Lucy is definitely not the type for a girl's party, surrounded by makeup and pretty dresses with frills. "I would love that," she coughs after an awkward pause, releasing herself from Tims arms, that are still wrapped around her waist. He is reluctant to let go of her. Not because he wants to keep holding her in his arms, but because he lets her leave unprotected with Lara Simmen. Of course, she wears her bug, but at times like now, especially after yesterday's action, it's safest for them to be together. All for one and one for all. Lucy gives him a reassuring nod that he shouldn't worry, then he releases his tense muscles and takes a step back. He keeps catching himself being amazed at how quickly he has become accustomed to her presence and how much she’s grown on him in the last few days during this assignment. She once told him they were friends and he just laughed it off. But: he is ashamed to admit that sometimes, especially since they went undercover, his thoughts still take him on a trail he would not otherwise allow himself on to.

The first time he was confronted with such feelings towards Lucy was on the day of her abduction, even before he was able to find her. He remembers being told that she couldn't be reached, that she didn't show up for work on time, and thousands of thoughts and fears buzzing in his head. A feeling of guilt that he just can't shake off. The power of helplessness that so overwhelmed him and the emptiness inside him until the moment he saw the ring glistening in the dusty sand. He was allowed to hold her, and he didn't want to let her go. Maybe that was a moment of clarity, but he couldn't place that clarity. It takes a certain amount of time, which they just didn't have now, especially now when it could jeopardize the mission. Every now and then, during small moments like these, those feelings try to push themselves forward. So, he leaves them hidden and locked in a chest that stays buried until it's time to open it. And if that time ever comes, he’ll deal with it… metaphorically speaking.

* * *

Lucy holds the dress up to her chest. It is a gold and black tight sheath dress made of silk brocade, maybe a bit more old-fashioned but still sexy and feminine. Definitely not something she would have picked off the rack otherwise. Lara is almost the same size as her, the dress sits a little tighter on Lucy's hips and her breasts squeeze together at the top.

"You look devilishly beautiful," Lara remarks in her British accent. She wipes her wavy hair behind her shoulder and strokes her bare shoulder, above the strapless dress. Lara was unusually friendly and for a brief moment she was even sympathetic to her. Lucy bends down and slips on her black high heels, the strap tight around her ankle.

"I've never worn anything like this before," she says. And that's not a lie. She's rarely seen herself in such a getup.

"An Asian touch, like your face, beautiful. The dress, fierce and courageous, just like your personality. Your husband is a lucky man." _Ha, hopefully the whole LAPD heard that through the bug. Let someone else say I’m no good as a rookie._

Something Tim has always taught her. If you see an opportunity, take it.

"Lara, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why are you doing this? You two are smart, attractive and perceptive people. You don't need this criminal past and future."

Lara frowns, the question visibly throwing her off. She straightens her red dress and sits down next to Lucy on the chaise lounge in her hotel room.

"I love my husband more than anything and will read his every wish he has ever asked for. The press calls us hoodlums, crooks, thieves. Honey, this is how I earn my living, okay?"

"And you're completely alone? No one to help you?"

She thinks about it for a while, then laughs the question off. “Let's go, I'm sure the men are waiting for us. Yours will want to eat you up."

"This is ridiculous, we're in an abandoned hotel and I look like I'm going to a five-star gala."

"You don't need a special occasion to look like a grenade, Lucy.”

* * *

"I've been looking at the blueprints. I will have to study them further. There are well-branched entrances we can use, but it won't be a piece of cake. I'll probably take a night shift today and make a trip to La Mesa tomorrow. Do a few rounds if you want to come along."

"What about the truck in the parking lot?" Tim asks.

"The name is a mouthful. I have no idea who that is. And the truck's been sitting there for days now and nobody's picked it up. There's something wrong with it. I'm going to find out. Even if I have to open the fucking cart with a crowbar."

Tim shifts in his chair, his fingers tapping the wine glass in his hand. He hopes the LAPD is listening in and will take action quickly. His car has to go, now or never.

Jack pushes back the chair and stands up as Lara and Lucy come sneaking around the corner. Tim doesn't even register that this is really his rookie standing in front of him. The black minidress wraps around her curves advantageously, and with her high heels she is almost at eye level with him. She looks up at him, her red lips forming into a thin smile and her eyelashes fluttering in front of her eyes. She is beautiful without question.

"You... You look..."

"Looking real good, huh?" she cuts him off.

She twirls around and wiggles her butt in his direction. He laughs and nods.

"You look stunning, Lucy," he whispers. It's the first time he's said her real name in a long time. She gently strokes his forearm, squinting at Jack to make sure he can see it too.

Abigail has already brought the second bottle of wine to the table; the conversation is flowing. Jack and Lara talk about their first jobs, their marriage proposal, the vacation in Hawaii they are planning after the robbery on La Mesa Drive. Tim and Lucy listen attentively and without noticing it, time flies by, almost as if they were not at work but simply at a table, outside in the open air, with friends. Lucy catches herself almost forgetting that there are two felons sitting across from them. The third bottle of wine, the mood lightens.

"The last time we talked about your personal lives, you were very reserved. Well, tell us about yourselves, friends," Jack asks, refilling Tim's glass.

"What do you want to know?"

"I know, I know. Who said it first?" Lara shouts. She has definitely had too much to drink. It's more of a slur than anything else.

"Said what first?" Lucy asks.

"Why, I love you, of course!" Lara leans her head on her husband's shoulder and moves closer to the table. Eagerly awaiting Lucy's answer, he leans back. Tim winces, they didn't go through this story in advance, they mustn't say anything wrong now, nothing that could differ.

"I said it first," Tim intervenes. He took the word for her and she is grateful to him for saving her from this unpleasant situation. Like mentioned, she's a bad actress and maybe she went a bit too far herself when she claimed that she was in full control of that whole undercover situation. She feels his fingers slowly close around hers under the table, then he gently squeezes her hand. Instead of pulling it back, he leaves it there. He holds her hand and she allows it, with an uncertainty whether this is now part of the game or not.

"It wasn't a special day, really. I picked her up from work. She was wearing an embroidered blue flannel shirt and a white blouse underneath. A pair of jeans and the white sneakers she usually wears…” Tim smirks and Lucy gasps to herself. _Did my TO really just recite by heart what I wore after work? Did he really bother to remember that ugly flannel shirt?_

"She snapped at me, because she keeps claiming I'm a know-it-all. She helped me prepare for an exam even when I didn't feel like it. And she knows exactly that I can remember things better if I hear them instead of reading them. So she read to me all day, over and over without complaining. And then on the last chapter I wanted to.... I told her."

The words just flowed out of him, he didn't have to think about what he was going to say. It just feels natural. He doesn't dare look at her. Perhaps he has overdone it a bit. Lucy smirks, laughs tentatively to herself, and watches Jack and Lara's expressions, who are still staring intently at Tim. His thumb strokes hers and a warm lightning bolt rushes through her entire body.

"I think I need another glass of wine now," Lucy says, and Tim laughs in relief, grateful that she's getting him out of this uncomfortable situation.

"Adorable," Jack notes, sipping his glass. Tim isn't sure if he can detect a hint of sarcasm from his words.

* * *

It's been a long night, and Lucy can barely stand on both feet. Tim holds her upper arm as she staggers inattentively toward the motel room.

"No, that way," he keeps reminding her.

"I know where to go, Jim!" she babbles.

"You're drunk, boot."

"I'm skunk as a drunk!"

He waves the room key in front of the lock and frantically tries to open the door without dropping Lucy. The two of them probably look like two circus animals right now. He gently pushes her through the door and she throws her heels off her foot and before she hits her head on the door frame he catches her again and guides her towards the bed.

"You were so nice to me today, you're never that nice."

"Don't get too used to it."

"That's right, we're undercover," she reminds him sternly.

"Right, boot."

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?"

"Very," he reassures her, pulling her higher toward the pillow.

"I think you're very beautiful, too, officer," she whispers, her eyes slowly closing.

"Go to sleep now."

"That dress is way too tight."

Tim swallows. _Did she really just say that?_ He watches her in the darkness from the other side of the bed as she struggles to sit up, her arms trying to reach her back to the zipper. He walks slowly towards her and she wipes her hair over her shoulder, reaching out to him. His cold fingers touch her soft skin on her back and she flinches, moaning silently, he pulls the zipper and the tight dress comes off her body. Tim takes a step back so that the shadow of darkness settles over her silhouette again and she disappears completely into the blackness of the motel room. His breathing quickens, his heart races, and he tumbles back to his side of the bed. He hears her slip on a shirt and fall backwards, once again the pillow wall between them. How he would have liked to look into her eyes now just to decipher what she is feeling right now in this moment and if it took her breath away just as it did his.


	8. epiphany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we're getting an undercover episode! It's a dream come true, especially since it's my dream scenario. Chenford is rising! Hope you guys are still going to enjoy this different kind of undercover-story for them :-)

A sharp headache wakes Lucy from her sleep, she sweats, breathes heavily. She must have had another bad dream, lucky that Tim didn't notice. His arm hangs limply off the edge of the bed. It's been an exhausting couple of days, he's completely comatose. With her hands she strokes the damp strands behind her ears, then she prances on her tiptoes into the bathroom, so that she doesn’t wake him. A miserable reflection of her miserable sight. She lets cold water flow over her wrist, splashes a handful on her face. Tim will be joining Jack for a ride through La Mesa Drive today. This means that she will have to spend the day alone with Lara. A good opportunity to have some girl-talk and tease more information out of her.

"You're awake already?" a soft voice echoes through the darkness. It's Tim, standing behind the doorframe, scratching his head tiredly and stepping into the bright light of the bathroom.

"I didn't mean to wake you, sorry."

"Is everything okay?" He takes a step toward her, but when their eyes meet, he lowers his head. She can't remember yesterday very well. Hoping she didn't do anything embarrassing, she blushes.

"It was a long night,” Lucy sighs.

"Let's not tell Grey that," Tim smirks, leaning against the sink next to her. Even in the earliest hours of the morning and uncombed, he looks damn good, she thinks to herself. He notices her digressed gaze and waves his hand in front of her eyes.

"The sun will be up soon. Let's get dressed, we can go for a walk,” he suggests. She nods and grabs the jeans she's laid over the edge of the bathtub to dry.

It's been a while since he last breathed such fresh morning air. The air in Los Angeles is different, dirtier, murkier. Perhaps the trip into nature did him some good, even if it's not the epitome of vacation feeling. The two stroll side by side, his glance constantly hunting back and forth.

"I don't think anyone will suddenly attack us from the side, Tim," Lucy grins playfully.

"You can never be too careful, boot. And we're still on the job here."

"But not on patrol."

"I don't trust these two. Jack and Lara. They pretend to be best friends with us but would throw us under the bus if it ever got to that point."

"Hey," she stops him and holds him back by the arm, so he has to look her in the eyes, "I won't let that happen."

It is said that a person in love looks at the world through rose-colored glasses because it seems as if there is no sorrow in the world. But that’s not true. He doesn’t see her through rose-colored glasses. He sees he clearly, her strength yet her softness, her solicitude. And even if he cannot interpret what her eyes see, he is sure of his. He takes a step back, ashamed that his mind has finally admitted how he feels about his rookie, although he tried to suppress it for such a long time, trying to make sense of it, to distract his thoughts. His mouth opens, but he doesn’t dare to say anything.

She notices his startled look, as if he had just seen a ghost, but she can't place it. "Did I say something wrong?" she asks in surprise.

"No. Let's go back, I'm sure Jack is already waiting for me."

Surprised by his sudden cold reaction, she follows a few steps behind him back to the motel. She upset him and it probably would have been best if she had said nothing, she thinks.

* * *

Tim doesn't keep close to what he was thinking about a moment ago. That he has feelings for her, whatever they were, he had long been aware of deep inside, but he simply didn’t want to admit it.

He vowed, after Isabel, not to get involved with anyone from work ever again. But he didn’t know who would enter his life. Especially not someone like Lucy Chen.

Jack sits behind the wheel without comment, while Tim stares out the window. Lucy is now alone with Lara and it scares the hell out of him. He knows she's quick-witted and can fight back but being with her makes him feel better. They are better together than each on their own. He feels the cold sting of suddenly missing her. _What a wimp you've become_ , he thinks to himself. "The feeling of missing someone is one of constant loss, knowing the longing will go away, but never really knowing when. But it's not all bad. Missing someone doesn't mean you'll never see or hear from them again. You appreciate them more than you thought you would if you were still with them." It's something Rachel said to him when she left. He feels bad about going behind her back like that. But somehow, after all, the two of them never discussed what was really going to become of them since they were separated.

"That girl's got a hold on you, doesn't she?" asks Jack. Tim startles and grins, he doesn’t answer right away.

"She's a rambunctious one," Jack adds, possibly hinting at last night. Chen definitely went out on a limb.

"She knows what she wants," Tim mutters.

Jack presses on the brake and holds his index finger in front of his lips to signal Tim to be quiet. Tim straightens up and tries to identify the men prowling outside the mansion on La Mesa Drive, but he doesn't know them.

"Who are they?" he asks quietly, and Jack squints his eyes.

"They're with us."

After all. Jack and Lara are not alone.

"With us?"

"Our boss stationed them so they could get a look around the area. Rich snobs have daily routines, neighbors watch their every move. We can’t miss anything that might cost us our freedom. "

"Our boss? Like you’re part some kind of criminal organization?"

"You're asking a lot of questions today," Jack eyes Tim up and down.

"I just want to know what I'm getting myself into here," he lies.

Jack presses his hand against Tim's chest and pushes him hard against the seat. He has a firm grip.

"You said you're part of it, so you're part of it. There's nothing to question now, do you understand me? Just do what I tell you and nothing will happen to you or your _girlfriend_." He emphasized the word girlfriend so much it was noticeable. Does he know something? If Jack feels the bug that is clipped to his shirt he’s fucked.

"You don't have to threaten me, I'm not questioning you."

"Then it's all settled," Simmen replies, letting go of Tim again.

Jack waves to a tall man with dark black hair, wearing white sneakers and black skinny jeans. You would hardly know at first glance that he is a thug. The man approaches the car and Jack rolls down the window.

"What's up?" asks Jack of the stranger.

"We've only been through two houses, but we're lucky that bad weather is coming. There won't be anyone in the yard or hanging out outside. We still have to count all the people living in the area, but _our_ house is empty. The people are gone. Raoul is figuring out the door code." His voice is deep and rough, Tim will recognize it anytime if it ever comes down to that.

"We do a couple of tours around the neighborhood, checking to make sure we're not being followed by cops. You know what to do when it’s ready? Now, give me the iron. We have a car trunk back at the motel to open." The man nods. Son of a bitch, they’re fucked.

* * *

It is uncomfortable and chilly, Lara and Jack's room is not much bigger than theirs. Lucy sits on the edge of the bed and awkwardly plucks at her wool sweater. Lara has just come out of the shower and is drying the ends of her wet hair with a bath towel.

"You look nervous, sweetie. Is everything okay?" Lara remarks.

"I'm just a little worried," Lucy replies. She really is. Not for her sake, but for Tim's.

"I'm sure nothing will happen, they're just driving around in the car." That's enough to make her completely lose her mind.

After a moment of silence, Lucy speaks up. "Can I ask you something?"

"Whatever you want."

"You're not doing this all by yourselves, are you? You must have help, surely?"

Lara sits down across from her at the small dining table. "Of course you don't. We were hired... Jack was hired."

"And that's just okay with you?" Lucy watches Lara's posture, her expression, just like Tim always taught her. She seems nervous, unsure of what to say.

"I love him," Lara replies, combing through her hair, lost in thought

"So much that you had to let him drag you into this danger?" Simmen seems tense at her statement, as if something is on her mind.

Lucy leans forward and places a hand on her thigh. "You can trust me." She's sorry she has to go behind her back. Because in some way, she feels like Lara isn't a bad person. She's just the good girl next door who fell in love with the wrong man. And now she is part of an organization that she probably can't get out of herself. She has ruined her life, that only out of naive love.

Bit by bit, everything becomes clearer. Jack dreams of fame and fortune, joins a criminal organization run by some big boss, meets his wife and gets her involved, raises her to be his personal assistant, an accomplice. "This is not love, Lara. That's taking possession."

"Pfft. What do you know about love?"

Lucy backs away, but she's right. She doesn't know anything about love, even if she'd like to.

"You and your fiancé haven't been together long, you barely touch, you barely look each other in the eye. You're so young, you have no idea Lucy.”

She is mortified at the thought that her co-workers can overhear through the bug what a horrible actress she is. Jackson and Nolan will be sticking it to her for ages to come.

"Sorry, that wasn't right of me. I can see that you care about each other," Lara says, ashamed.

"Maybe you don't see it by looks or touches, but Tim has already risked more for me than any other person in this world." And that's no lie.

"I see that, too."

"He's not perfect, and I'm certainly not perfect. But we complement each other. It's... perfect the way it is." A feeling follows, like a weight falling off her shoulders.

"You really love him, don’t you?"

Lucy does not answer, even though she has probably known the answer to this question for a long time already. It is a question she has never asked herself so directly or dared to even think about until now on this mission.

"Anyway. Jack gets something else that we can use to open the old truck in the parking lot. Then maybe we'll finally find out who owns the truck."

Lucy tears up her eyes and leans back nervously. _I hope you guys heard that_ , she thinks to herself. She's got to stop this somehow.

"But we saw through the windows that there's nothing in there that can tell us who it belongs to."

"Do you have X-ray vision in the trunk or inside the glove compartment?"

Lucy shakes her head. "Will you excuse me, please? I really need to call my dog sitter. I'm sure you know how that feels...well...anyway.... I'll see you later," Lucy stumbles over her own words and brushes past Lara, back to her room, leaving her puzzled by herself.

Nervously, she digs through Tim's backpack to use his work phone, but he seems to have taken it with him. She fumbles with her shirt and lifts the bug to her lips.

"Guys, you really need to do something with this damn car before we get busted and they shoot us like wild dogs.”

That won't be enough. There' s no way they' ll be able to hide that car before Jack and Tim get back.

She has to take matters into her own hands. The only thing she can do is drive the truck away inconspicuously, that's her only chance. Lara is in her room freshening up and Abigail will just have to keep her mouth shut, she does seem to answer to a bribe, as Lara and Jack told. Lucy grabs the car key Tim has hidden under the mattress and stalks outside to the front yard.

* * *

"What do we have here? Working for the city, eh?" Jack raises his eyebrows in surprise. Lara puts her hands on her hips and examines the weapons in Tim's trunk. 

She was too late. Jack was faster and opened the trunk with the iron rod. Tim moves his lips and quietly forms them into words. "I couldn't do anything." She does not blame him. He couldn't possibly have stopped him without putting himself in even more danger. It's time for the LAPD to intervene.

Without hesitation, Jack reaches for one of the guns and points it directly at Lucy. She raises her hands in bewilderment and takes a step backwards, almost trying to jump out of the way.

Tim freezes. He didn't expect this. He should have kept him away from that damn car. His gun hand grips his hip, but he's not in uniform. He can't protect her.

"Now tell me what and who you really are or I will shoot her in the face." Jack's voice is loud and frightening. Tim senses Lucy's nervousness. He almost thinks he can hear her heart beating. He raises his hand and slowly takes a step toward Jack as he watches Lara slowly roam around the truck.

"If you want to shoot someone, shoot me. The guns are mine. She doesn't know anything about them."

"Tim...", Lucy closes her eyes. Why did he do that? What happened to one for all and all for one?

Jack coughs and laughs. "Do you really think I don't know you two are in cahoots? I don't know what you're up to, but I'm not easily fooled." He presses the gun against Lucy's forehead. She backs away, but he holds her tight.

Tim clenches his jaw, his muscles tense. "Let her go and let's talk."

"That's not going to happen, buddy. If you care about her, tell me what you're up to now and then I'll let her go."

Lucy shakes her head, her eyes fill with tears. "Don’t." She tries to remember through months of Tim's training. Some memory that can bail her out now. How he showed her how to behave in a situation like this, to pull herself together, take a deep breath, and then reach out. Knees up, hands on the gun and push up.

"My name is Officer Tim Bradford, LAPD. I am wired, there are bugs everywhere listening to this conversation right now. You don’t have any chance to get out of this, Simmen. Backup is already on the way. You won’t make it to La Mesa Drive in time." Tim looks around, but Lara has disappeared. He knows it's tricky to lie to him. His bug is on, but Lopez and the team aren’t on their direct way to help them, they’re probably halfway down to La Mesa Drive already. It would take time they simply don’t have. He had to take matters into his own hands.

"You two are great actors, I must say. Almost believed this whole love story shit." He fiddles the gun around.

That's all Lucy needs to distract him. She grabs the stock of the gun and yanks it up, a shot goes off and Jack flinches. She pushes him back and he tries to hold on, hitting her square in the face. Lucy staggers and falls backwards but is still able to keep her balance and reaches for a gun in the trunk, pointing directly at him, but she is shaking too much, she missed.

Jack runs disoriented towards the woods and Tim takes a leap towards Lucy.

"We have to follow him!” She shouts at him, but he doesn’t listen and helps her regain balance.

“What did I tell you about going rogue, boot?” He raised his voice, his tone is penetrating, frightened, worried. He walks towards her and strokes the bleeding cut on her cheek with his thumb. His fingers tremble, he doesn't want to hurt her with his touch.

"I did what you taught me to do for months. I saw an opportunity and I took it."

"Not if it means killing you."

"Even then." She notices his troubled expression and wonders if he's just acting or if it's really that upsetting to him. She can't tell the difference anymore.

"You're so stubborn. I can't even leave you alone for one minute."

"Aren't you a little proud of me?" she adds playfully.

"This is the second time I've almost lost you during my time as your TO. I wouldn't have... Grey wouldn't have forgiven me for that."

Yes, he is incredibly proud of her. He has trained her very well, but it is she herself who has the courage to cross boundaries and do what is necessary to finish a job. They lock eyes but before he is able to say something else, she turns away, gently pulling his hand from her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr: melendaires


	9. stars shining bright above you

It's a strange feeling to wear the uniform again. Tim tugs at the fabric, pulls on his belt, rolls up his short sleeves. He watches himself in the mirror, looking worn out, as if he hasn't slept in days. He hardly has. Since they returned from the Motel de Neige, he's been haunted by a variety of thoughts. Could he have done something else? Could he have or should he have given more to catch Jack and Lara before they escaped before his eyes? Grey didn't say much about it. The mission wasn't accomplished, I guess that's all that matters. He hasn't seen Lucy since that mess. Grey dropped her off at home and that was that. She hasn't contacted him again since. Maybe it's for the best, it was time they both cooled off. Angela walks past him and pats him on the shoulder. She grins and sits down next to him.

"Missed you, buddy," she says. He gives her a friendly nod.

"It's weird being back here."

"You'll get used to it again sooner than you'd like. Your shop is already waiting for you." A moment of silence. She notices his thoughtful look and whispers a soft _hey_ to him. "You did everything right, Bradford. It's your job as a TO to look out for your rookie."

"I was so close, I should have caught him but I hesitated."

"La Mesa Drive is not quite over. They're going to pull it off tonight."

Tim frowns; he didn't know anything about that. Grey kept it from him icily, probably taking him off the case. "Must have been my acting."

"Are you kidding me? We were all sitting here rooting for you so hard, you did a great job. Almost thought there was something going on between you," she laughs, sipping her coffee. Tim's cheek blushes and he feels the heat rising in his head.

A light, fruity and familiar scent rises to his nose and when he lifts his head he sees Lucy walking past him without giving him a glance.

Lucy's heart races. It's the first time she's been back on patrol since Motel de Neige, and that with Tim. Their last interaction was strange, a roller coaster ride of emotions. She doesn't know where she stands, where they stand together. He is still her TO, it can't be that simple.Even though she felt like she saw something in his eyes at the motel when he touched her, looked at her, she can hardly imagine him actually feeling anything for her.

Nolan walks beside her, telling her something, but she wasn't listening. Lost in thought, she nods at him and sits down on the chair.

"Anyways, Nyla and I need to take this thing over now. We'll pull the night shift and head to La Mesa Drive."

Lucy jerks her head up and looks at him, puzzled. Did she just hear right? She puts her life on the line for a week, plays happy-go-lucky with Tim, and the thanks she gets is that she's out of the loop?

"Where did you hear that?" she asks, annoyed.

"Sergeant Grey ordered us. I don't know if you guys are all the way out."

"First he claims we're doing a great job, and now he just wants to throw us out? I need this mission, John," she says, exasperated.

"You don't need these points. You're so far ahead of us on everything."

She shakes her head. This just isn't fair.

In the meantime, everyone has spread out around the room at the tables. Lucy notices quiet whispering behind her and she turns around, annoyed.

"Of course they're going to gossip. Don't worry about it," Jackson whispers to her from the other side.

"Let them do the work. I want to see how they do," she says a little louder and more emphasized than she should.

Grey stands behind the panel and clears his throat.

"Good morning, everyone. As you all know, Officer Bradford and Officer Chen have returned from their undercover mission. Thank you very much for your service."

Lucy turns and looks at Tim, who is standing at the doorframe with his arms folded as usual, looking at Grey with a frown. He squints over at her and for a brief moment their eyes meet, her heart racing faster. She turns back, feeling embarrassed.

"Unfortunately, Jack and Lara Simmen could not be caught. A moment's carelessness was responsible for that, which could have ended just as fatally as the lives Jack and Lara Simmen have taken so far."

"Pfft," Tim snorts, and Angela nudges him in the side with her elbow.

Grey continues. "We have therefore decided that Officer Nyla Harper and Officer John Nolan will have the decision-making power tonight regarding the apprehension and transfer of Simmen and his circle."

The group applauds.

"But that's not all. During the undercover mission, we were able to find out a lot about them through the bugs. Meanwhile, we can confirm that there is a higher power than Simmen behind the robberies and murders. Our detectives were able to do research and found out that a man known as 'The King' is behind the gruesome robberies. We already had the pleasure of dealing with him a few years ago."

Jackson leans over to Lucy and whispers in her ear, "See, they were able to find out so much thanks to you guys, you must have done something well." She smiles gratefully at him.

"Officer West, you will continue to patrol with Officer Smitty. Officer Bradford, I would like to speak with you alone."

Lucy opens her mouth but Grey stops her with a hand gesture. "I know what you want to say, Officer Chen. You may ask me whatever you want once I've spoken to Officer Bradford."

She leans back again and shakes her head in disappointment. Surely this can't be true, why is she being excluded?

The group breaks up and leaves the room, Tim slowly walks up to Grey and leans against the desk next to him.

"What are you doing? Why are Chen and I being excluded from the mission?"

"I'm not excluding you guys. On the contrary, you will play an important role."

"You haven't said a word to me since Motel de Neige."

"I'm disappointed, that's true. I was sure you and Chen were the right ones for this mission. But I was wrong."

"He was going to shoot her." Tim tenses his jaw and clenches a fist. He tries not to let his anger show.

"But he didn't. You could have gone after him, but you didn't. Why?"

Because he was afraid for Lucy. "He was already too far away and Officer Chen was hurt. It's my job to keep her out of danger."

"It was your job to catch Jack and Lara Simmen, and now they're both gone."

Tim looks at him, not knowing what to say in response.

"Officer Bradford. I don't doubt your competence as an officer. We all make mistakes. But we can't afford to make any more. Now, may I continue?"

He nods.

"We have studied the blueprints of the villa. Probably several members of the king's circle will be stationed in different places. As I gathered from Jack Simmen, they have studied the entrances and air shafts. I suspect they intend to enter the house through the underground. You and Chen will spend the night keeping watch in your car at the end of the road and the beginning of the underground line, reporting any unusual movement. Do not attack - just keep watch. The manhole entrance is the one closest to the house. Simmen or anyone from the circle might show up there. I don't want anything to get past you. Understand?"

"Understood, sir."

All that matters, he can't screw up.

Tim walks out of the room and bumps into Lucy, who was nervously walking up and down the hallway, hoping to catch something of the conversation. She clears her throat and takes a step back.

"Hey," she murmurs guardedly.

"How are you?" he asks. A Band-Aid is stuck to her cheek and a blue-beaten ring swells around her eye. Jack has really hit her hard.

"It still hurts a little but I’m tough, right?"

"Yeah, you are," he smirks. He doesn't know what to say to her. Most of all, he wants to apologize to her for screwing up the mission so badly.

"Listen, boot..."

"It's all right. What's done is done. What did Grey say?"

"We were ordered to be lookouts. So that means a long day and a long night in the shop and not much sleep."

She grins. "As if I didn't get little enough sleep already."

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry about what happened."

"Don't be sorry, it's okay," she doesn't look at him but shakes it off with a hand gesture and turns away from him. She doesn't dare look at him, she's too ashamed. While walking behind the motel, she got too close to him and he was all weird with her afterwards. She hasn't forgotten that.

"Get your things, then let's get the shop,” he calls out behind her. There is so much more he would like to tell her.

* * *

The murmur of the walky-talky and the soft, gentle sounds from the car radio distract Lucy's thoughts. She wants to concentrate fully on the day, not make any mistakes. Why can't everything be the same again? This damn mission.

"It's funny being back in uniform, isn't it?" Tim tries to break the ice. She nods. This is going great, he thinks to himself with a loud note of sarcasm as an underlying thought.

She tugs at her pants, lost in thought, drumming her fingers on the passenger door, watching the streets and the lanterns waft past her in the blink of an eye.

"You're usually more talkative. Actually, I can hardly keep you quiet," he laughs.

She smiles softly and looks at him. "I didn't think you were very interested in what I had to say."

Puzzled, he hits the brakes and pulls over to the side street. He leans back and turns to her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The walk at the Motel de Neige? You were acting all weird when I.... When I told you that I wouldn't let anything happen to you. And when Jack got away you were mad at me. You've been weird with me all week. As soon as we had a good and pleasant moment, you had to mess it up again with your mood."

"Okay, all right, don't sugarcoat it?"

"What do you want me to say, Tim?" Distraught, she looks at him.

"I..." He doesn't know what to answer. Rarely has he been as speechless as he is today. How should he tell his rookie that he's fallen in love with her? It's easier to pretend he's nothing more than her TO.

"That's bullshit," he replies, the lie stabbing into his chest, "Of course I appreciate what you said. There's nothing wrong, no hard feelings."

That would have been the opportunity for him to say something different. She can't place him and his glances, his words. It hurts in her chest and she lowers her gaze. "I'm glad then," she lies. Never before have the two of them talked so much to each other, yet they talked so far past each other as they have for the past week.

* * *

The two have been given permission to use the undercover car from an old mission a few years ago. An old truck, similar to Tim's, is just parked in a private lot on the side of the road at the beginning of La Mesa Drive with a perfect view of the shaft entrance near the target mansion. Tim peers through the binoculars every now and then. He wears a dark brown hoodie so as not to attract attention. Lucy watches the surroundings, turning back and forth to make sure no one can see them.

It is silent. No more noise, no more radio. Just the steady breathing of Tim and the chirping of crickets in the falling darkness.

"We'll be here for a few hours, you can make yourself comfortable," Tim notes. She leans her head against the window and tries to count the stars that are slowly starting to light up in the night sky.

"Can you believe that some of these stars have actually been burning for over a billion of years? Kinda scary, don't you think?" she says.

"I never thought about that."

"I figured as much," she grins. "Stars calm me down. When I was little, shooting star night was the very biggest thing. I used to go outside in the garden, lie down and count the shooting stars. There's something about it that fascinates me."

He watches as the moonlight makes her hair and flushed cheeks shimmer. "And what did you wish for?" he asks her tenderly.

She looks over at him and shrugs. "Nothing I can have."

He takes a deep breath as their eyes meet. _Get all your guts together._

"Listen, there's something I need to tell you..." Tim starts, but Lucy startles and points her finger at a movement around the shaft. A man slowly creeps up to it and leans down. He puts his head on the shaft as if to listen to it, then jumps back on his feet and runs away.

"What the hell was that?"

"I don't know," Tim replies, peering through his binoculars again. Back and forth, along the road. The man has disappeared.

"I think it's starting. Stay alert," he orders her, in a tone all too familiar. She scoots up and leans over the cockpit so she can see better. The night is getting darker and it will be harder to see anyone or any movement.

Tim types away on his cell phone and alerts his colleagues.

"What did you want to tell me?"

It was in the heat of the moment, but he no longer dares to tell her.

"Oh nothing, it doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?"

He nods and she exhales in exhaustion. She wonders what was on his mind, that he wanted so badly to tell her, but is now pulled back.

"Hmm," she smirks and puts her head back on the window, her gaze fixed on the mansion in front of them. This is going to be a long night.


End file.
